This is the audience participation script for the Anti-Opera’s version of Carmen. Props are in ALL CAPS and are included in the Survival Kit.
WHENEVER…
- Escamillo enters a scene, it’s appropriate to cry, “The party has arrived!”
- A bird is on screen, throw your paper BIRDS.
- Someone is singing into another’s face or the closeup reveals much open mouth, offer the TOOTHBRUSH.
- Someone drinks or toasts, drink or toast with your WINE GLASS (beverage optional).
- Knives or swords come out, menace with your MINI SWORD.
- Play along on KAZOO whenever there is a trumpet/bugle.
- Wave your FANS whenever fans are on screen.
Opening bullfight:
“Well, that escalated quickly!”
“What’d ya expect? An opera with a happy beginning?”
“Someone get this bull a Gatorade!”
“Cleanup in the meat department.”
Overture begins:
“Testicles for dinner!”
Penitents march:
Rattle CHAINS.
Sur la place, chacun passe:
Put FLOWER in hair when the women put in their flowers.
After Micaela runs and Morales sings Reprenous notre passe-temps/Et regardons paser the gens, ask “What else did you have in mind?”
Avec garde montante:
Play KAZOO with ta ra ta ta, ta ra ta ta parts.
L’amour est un oiseau rebelle:
Throw BIRD when she sings of bird.
Salute the fellow in the patchwork pants as “Danny DeVitez.”
Clap the dance rhythm as the crowd does.
Carmen throws the flower at Jose:
“Copper!”
Throw FLOWER.
Parle-moi de ma mere:
At Un baiser pour son fils, “Baisez-toi!”
Jose kisses Micaela’s cheek: “Get a room!”
When the fly appears, menace with your FLYSWATTER.
In the tobacco factory:
Seeing the babies, “Get those babies back to work!”
Tra la la, coupe moi:
When Carmen sings coupe moi, snip the SCISSORS at her.
Pres de ramparts de Seville:
From your WINE GLASS drink manzanilla (if available)
At Mais c’est assez pour une bohemienne, “That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me!”
Gasp loudly at the kiss.
Les tringles des sistres tintaient:
Warn the little girl dancing on the table to stop looking at the camera.
Clap with the crowd.
When Carmen dances on the table, cry “Vogue!” and strike a pose.
Tavern scene:
When Carmen removes her shoes, “Don’t take your shoes off on the bar, please.”
Lillas Pastia throws everyone out: “It’s 9 PM, it’s Santa Fe, we’re closing.”
Vivat, vivat Escamillo:
“Evviva!”
Je vais dancer:
Get out the CASTANET and click along.
Carmen throws out Jose:
As she grabs his rifle, “Take your gun and dodge bullets somewhere else!”
La fleur que tu m’avais jetee:
Throw a FLOWER.
End of Act II:
“Now you done fucked up.”
Gypsies crawling on the ridge:
“See you next fall!”
Melons! Coupons!:
Draw out your CARDS.
At Carmen’s line, Méle et coupe sans peur, use the SCISSORS to cut a CARD in pieces.
Dancaire announces the excise men:
SLIDE WHISTLE as the ladies are helped onto the horses.
After Micaela’s Song:
Take the PAPER BAG and inflate it while Don Jose sits. Pinch it shut.
When the gypsies shoot at Escamillo, pop the PAPER BAG.
After the knife fight:
As Carmen separates them, “No way, Jose!”
When Escamillo invites them to the bullfight, “Keep the scene alive!”
Immediately after his invitation, “He’ll give 10% off on merch.”
Micaela confrontation:
“Who dis bitch?”
When Jose speaks of la chaine qui nous lie, rattle the CHAIN.
When the debris is visible on Jose’s clothing, cry “Someone needs a lint roller.”
Toreador en garde, reprise:
Sing along.
A deux cuartos:
“Use discount code toreador50!”
When the quadrille is announced, use your KAZOOS to play along.
As the children sing a bas l’alguazil, cry “Fuck tha po-leece!”
C’est toi?
When Jose says C’est moi, reply “Olé!”
As they begin to sing together, Carmen il est temps encore &c. lift the PAPER HEART over your head.
When Carmen says non, je ne t’aime plus, rip the PAPER HEART in two.
When Carmen removes and tosses her ring, throw your RING.
When the women mourn Carmen, get out your TISSUES and loudly weep “BOO HOO!” along with them.